Mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes in life, some are tiny that can be laughed about later, some you get over quickly and some you hide to conceal for hopes in keeping something that you don't want to lose. I have just recently lost the most important person in my life and now I fear I will never get him back.

Love. A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person; a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection. I fell in love with a boy and we ended up slowly bringing each other down. A healthy relationship needs to have a new beginning and fresh start, no more lies, no secrets, just the truth and how you truly feel about each other. I have made alot of mistakes in my past. I cheated on the boy I love and I kept secrets from him which I shouldn't have. I feel horrible about this things I have said and the actions that have happened in the past 4 years. To make a new beginning you need to be honest about everything. Matt, this blog I created for you and for your eyes only. It will tell you anything and everything you need to know about me currently, the past, and the future.

The Past is the past, the issues in it have been dealt with and I need to learn to let go of them. Issues that are behind today do matter but should not affect the future. The past is the past for a reason. I have learned to let go of a majority of my past issues and have regretted not showing them more.

The Present is me, how i feel about you and what I know I need to work on. I know I have been know to flip out for unknown reasons and not care about the consequences but that all comes back to bite me in the ass. I wanted to be a couple in public but I was honestly scared. I do not know why but I thought if I am not all over him maybe the party will be more fun and I can socialize with my other friends I do not get to see very often. I regret alot of the decisions I have made recently and I know they have only made things worse and I know I was the cause for the destruction that became of us.

The Future is currently a blurry haze, if it is with you that is where this path in life will take me, if it is not it will move in a new and unknown direction that I cannot foresee.

All in all, I love one man. A strong, independent, unique individual who has battled through things no one should ever suffer through. I am sorry for all the pain I have caused you and I hope one day it can be resolved and worked through, until then...

I Love You
xox Sarah